"Good Spells" Transcript

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Aki: (knock knock knock)

Sorceress : Who is it?

Aki: Aki, of the Amazon tribe.

Sorceress: Oh good – you know, I've never met a real… Amazon… before. <…>

Aki: Go ahead…say it.

Sorceress: Aren't you a bit…um… Um, well now. I don't suppose I need to ask what you've come for.

Aki: Right – I want you to make me bigger, just like the other Amazons.

Sorceress: Hmmmm…

Aki: What's wrong?

Sorceress: Well you see, I've never really done a growth spell before. They can be quite difficult, or so I hear… I'm not sure I…

Aki: (hangs head)

Sorceress: OK, you. Let's do this before I change my mind. Follow me.

---cut to outside---

Aki: So what should I do?

Sorceress: Just stand there and keep still.

---Aki grows---

Aki: Wow, I'm big! I'm really *really* big!

---Sorceress inspects Aki, then crosses her arms---

Aki: Is anything the matter?

Sorceress: Well, everything seems to be in proportion… but you're not exactly the size of a typical Amazon, are you?

Aki: Well, no. Actually, I'd say I'm about a foot taller than any Amazon *I've* ever seen. Is that a problem?

Sorceress: I've got standards, you know. When I do a spell, I do it right. I'm just going to have to shrink you by a foot or so.

Aki: Do you have to? I…I kind of like the idea of the other Amazons having to look up at *me* for a change.

Sorceress: I'm sorry, dear, professional integrity, and all that.

Aki: Oh, OK…

---Sorcess attempts to make Aki shrink---

Sorceress: Odd, that almost felt like… Uh oh.

---Aki grows…and grows…and grows…---

Aki: Well, *that* was interesting. What happened?

Sorceress: …

Aki: This isn't going to work at all – you're so far away, I can't hear you. I think I'm going to have to pick you up. Just stay still. I'll be as gentle as I can.

---Aki picks Sorceress up—

Aki: What was that about standards again?

Sorceress: This is sooooo embarrassing.

Aki: So what next?

Sorceress: Well, give me a few moments to think about what to do next.

Aki: Maybe you should have a little rest or something?

Sorceress: Now what is *that* supposed to mean?!?

Aki: Well, it's just that I think it may be best (given the current situation) to not rush into anything, that's all…

---Later…---

Sorceress: I'll be the laughingstock of the Guild.

Aki: Oh, come on now – you're being too hard on yourself.

Sorceress: How can you possibly say that, given your current condition?!?

Aki: To tell you the truth… I kind of like being this way.

Sorceress: Obviously the blood doesn't reach your brain at this height.

Aki: No need to be snippy.

Sorceress: <sigh>

The End.

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